The woman who lived in my apartment before me was aparently into mail-order salvation. Every day or so, Benny Hinn or the like tries to sell me a get out of hell free card. Elise already signed me up for Good News, and while I understand that sometimes kids deserve cancer and G-D never makes mistakes, there are a few questions left unanswered. Luckily, old Benny has taken care of this for me in the form of a CD entitled "Releasing the Prophetic Destiny of a Nation." However, nothing on the form mentions price. I know that Mr. Hinn would agree that it's immoral to exploit the unfortunate for material wealth, but I don't have much to give. What luck! There's a donation form, but what's this at the top?



One final problem, though: do they want me to priority mail it in gladware, or just first class them a ziploc?

1"Be careful not to do your 'acts of righteousness' before men, to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven.
2"So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. 3But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, 4so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

Matthew 6:1-4