"...and, by the dog, gentlemen of the jury---for I must tell you the truth..." --Apology, 21e

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Deadbird is doing a split 7" w/ Burned Up Bled Dry.
Check their 'myspace'.
A belated Happy Birthday to Darwin, who woulda
been 198 yesterday. In honor of such, here is
God is for Suckers.
I like the direction the 'religion is treason' article is headed...

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Our Comrade Way Cool, Jr. has risen again
in the Town of Tull.
Also, the glow-in-the-dark spider seems to have
fallen off of the wall.
If anyone has any information please contact the
Center for Arachnid Control and Humour Promulgation.
With the rate this bureaucracy is falling apart
you'd think Patrick Fitzgerald was
on his way to town...

Thursday, February 08, 2007

A diaper wearing astronaut charged with attempted murder,
Anna Nicole Smith found dead,
and now Trix is going to a new shape - round.
I thought they were round, before
they made them fruit shaped....
Jesus ain't coming back folks. just ain't gonna happen.

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Ahh.... though nothing last forever I am
currently going through a phase where
Futurama is the highlight of my life.
That and reading opinions written by
Antoni Scalia.

Wow, never imagined I'd say that.
for some reason my phone is down.
Oh sweet je$u$!!!!
Pine Bluff Smoke on the Water
Southern States Chicken Wing Championship!!!!!!!

(well damn, I don't think there's prize $ for the winner of
that contest... just the cooking contests... still....)

Monday, February 05, 2007

Well Socrates, what d'ya think of this one?
ATHF stunt cost Turner $2M.
I think this one goes better with your robe:
Gorby asks Gates to pardon teacher
You drank all the hemloch by yourself again didn't you?

Sunday, February 04, 2007

Fuck anyone who gives cred
to god for winning the
goddamned SuperBowl.
Good game, yes.
Divine intervention, no.
Our Bears seem to have been hit by a few tranquilizers....
14 sec. in,
Bears 7
Colts 0
Blogger?!? Shit. We use real margrine around here.
Keeps them Bears' hearts under pressure, give
'em what they need to make sure those Colts
end up in a French market where they belong.
I'm betting Donner to Bob, what are you throwing on
the table?
i can't believe it's not blogger! where are my earth-shattering revelations, dammit! i was promised with the end of youtubing there would be revelations!

Friday, February 02, 2007

Lost Musical Gems.
Scroll down, there are some fine ones
like Fabio's 'Inner Beauty' and 'Bacteria' from KFC
training cassettes.
Sad news today, Gentlemen. Our Comrade Way Cool, Jr. has
fallen in our War on Terror. He was taken out by an improvised
explosive embed code. As a tribute to his dedicated service
there will be a moratorium on the very tactics that took him down.
RE: The previous post and the various related aesthetic atrocities:

The Colonel is on hiatus from the blog that he built with his own two hands for an indeterminate period of time. May the uncultured barbarian hordes run it over with their barely grammatical comments, unpopular-teenager's-LiveJournal-esque style and Metal Church videos. And may God's Mercy elude them.

I can't help at a time like this but to be reminded of some words that have guided me in my short but interesting life. They were given to me by my very own sweet grandfather while he sat upon his deathbed when I was merely a lad of six years. He knew his life was almost over and he said to me the following words which I will never forget so long as I live.

"Sonny boy, I have the fortune for the Good Lord to have granted me many a year in His Creation now--since ought two bygummit---and though I am not an educated man, I have done well in life. For there is one thing I know---one thing that got me through the many and varied trials that the Good Lord set before me: The Great War, the Depression, The Second Great War, syphllis, the Republican Party. And that one thing I know--that one beautiful thing worth more than all the gold and women in all the world--I give to you now as I go into the unknown to meet the Maker of this World. And that one thing is this: Don't take shit from fucking retards."


The Colonel
Kentucky's Fifth Immobile Calvary
"The Drinkin' Mules"
I have heard about the intense affliction of emotional distress caused to a number of you bloggers on account of the oversaturation of YouTube videos. I will help out in this controversy by diminishing the amount of YouTube videos that I contribute to the blog. To rectify the superfluos concentration of YouTube content, here is a MySpace video!
Robot Chicken - George Bush the Jedi

Add to My Profile | More Videos

Thursday, February 01, 2007