"...and, by the dog, gentlemen of the jury---for I must tell you the truth..." --Apology, 21e

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

In Re: What?


Spatula, as you know, is chairperson of the
Decency in Pernicious Televangical Marinading and Perfidious Turkey Bantering Commission.
I am sure that he would be more than pleasured to answer any questions you may have.
As per your request, below is a facsimile of the document.
Your considerations are anxiously awaited.
In Re: The Eternal Debate and Concerns Committee

In response to the internal memo regarding upgrades in the
aesthetic, moralistic, technological, and scatological elements
of our supreme pinnacle of journalism I must respond that I
In an effort to mitigate the difficulties of users accessing
our web site from less-than-ideally-equipped computer
network systems, all embedded content has been replaced with
equally self reliant image automation oriented code.
Also, the internal memo as well as a request for a comprehensive
needs assessment study (itemized, cross-indexed, and tabulated)
has been sent to the Committee on Communicative Rationalization
and Modern Media for further insight into any and all issues
that may or may not exist concerning our journal.
I thank you all for your patience and understanding. Modern
telecommunication sciences are moving at light speed now
days and sometimes it is a bit of a scramble to keep the
bugbear on top of the bouncing ball. Speaking of which, I just
received another internal memo; there may be a slight delay
in the study as the North West Chapter of the Bugbear Union
has requested an amendment to the resolution seeking the
previously mentioned study and it appears to have passed.
The study will now include with it a preliminary feasability
study on the structural diversions of intrinsic right.

Cthulhu Cthulhu Cthulhu

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Posted at the request of Phillip Lynn. Enjoy!
Project Grizzly!
72 minutes
of a Crazy Canadian.
*Spoiler* - he does not get
mauled by a grizzly, but it's still
a good flick.

Monday, January 29, 2007

Accept! Fuck yeah! Your lives are now complete!
It's been a while since I've posted cartoon shorts for you to enjoy. I plan to rectify my paucity of cartoon posts in the coming weeks.

Sunday, January 28, 2007

Odd choice of music, but otherwise a cool tribute to Ray Harryhausen.
i feel that 'testin' my gangsta' should be classified as bona fide folk music.
Sometimes you just can't stop yourself.
art showing, beer drinking, and hole-punched memory. happy birthday, dr. hand.

Saturday, January 27, 2007

Sholay didn't fly in the face of
a scratched disc in the 360.
40 - Night abounded, none-the-less.

In leau,
Cannibal Holocaust
Brain Damage.

Kudos, Dr. 's.


This is wrong,
and it is real.
I have never
seen children this excited
about science & logic.
THIS is why I own a gun.

... as good as this film might be,
the clips are only the iceberg of
my experience w/ these nuts.

... why I own a gun & a bible...

... for decency, a previousley posted atheist oriented video...

The war has only begun.

Cthulhu help us all.

Friday, January 26, 2007

the lads and i watched 'Cannibal Holocaust' tonight and i have only one thing to say; if you ain't bout it bout it, you'se a ho.
In a valient effort to mitigate the psychological
damage caused by Way Cool Jr., here is one of
the finer joys in life:

Thursday, January 25, 2007

J's gonna hate me for this one!

additional obnoxiousness deleted
by J.
PETA bares it all...

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

This one does not look cool. I will not check it out. But I know that J plans to. I am posting this for his benefit, despite my own pain and suffering. Enjoy the preview, J.
This one looks cool. I'll have to check it out.
This one is dedicated to Phillip Lynn. This song reminds me of him very much.

Monday, January 22, 2007

Nude skydiving
For those in town, I made a massive amount
of Bambi and rice stew today if anybody wants
any. I didn't put very many peppers in it so it
is edible for those who aren't capsacin-heads.

Sunday, January 21, 2007

As promised, I am now searching for hunting fetish porn. Sadly, the journey has not been a pleasant one. Did you know that sometimes women go out hunting in the woods but don't take their clothes off? I was as shocked as you. Sometimes they participate in long drawn out message boards where you just want to post "Hey, show us your tits already," but they have guns, more guns than fucking North Korea, and won't shut up about their AK-47s. In the meantime, "Hunting for Bambi."

Sorry for the fuck-up earlier Mr. Lynn. Here is your video.
56k Warning: Gospel Preacher Ahead

5267 gay porn pics including dickgirl comics, amateur bears, and hardcore screenshots + 16 pictures from www.godhatesfags.com + metapixel-1.0.2 =

Thumbnails link to high resolution images, just not the same ones as the thumbnails. You'll live.

In retrospect, I probably should have planned out the whole learning how to use an unstable command line based program whilst learning the basic commands for a semi-complete Linux install through total immersion whilst processing over 5000 JPGs a little better.
Nota Bene: 'Pure Adulterated' is an oxymoron.
Hey Mr. Lynn, for those who held their breath for a metal concept song for the Transformers (all ten of them.)

Saturday, January 20, 2007

Friday, January 19, 2007

Holy shitballs!
Dang, this dude has some mad skills.

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Just read two cases for environmental law
about your favorite little villa of Ducktown, Tn.
One was on some local residents sueing
the copper companies, the other was on
the state of Georgia sueing the same companies.
residents lost, Georgia won.
A special treat for Dark Tower fans.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Does it get any funnier than this? Robert Smith dancing around in a squirrel costume. Now I've seen it all.
Ordered my peppers today. If they have
any seeds left to send me I should have
a crop of ungodly hot peppers at the end of

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

I had a dream last night. I had a farm where I
raised giant rabbits and chili peppers. I had a
pet bear named Ralph. He danced on a ball and
lived inside the cabin. He loved cheeze-whiz
and only shat outside.

Here's an article and some pictures of
St. Petersburg flooding. According to
some of the girls we hung out with over
there they aren't having much of a
winter this year.
Oops, here is the video I was talking about in the last post.
Phil, I bet you can't watch this video without jacking off to those two hot women. And J, the women in this video want your number.
I'll offer this, since Superman seems to be the theme of the day.
Battle of the Album Covers.
More goofiness from India.
Don't you just love India?
Fishing women porn. Worse yet, he leeched some of the pics off a MEMBERS SITE!

Monday, January 15, 2007

The thing which is of the happening before the coming of the thing into its beingness...

Ever browse Usenet to see if it's still as creepy as it used to be? About 50:50. Posts to alt.personals.fetish.coprophagy (for all of you out there who still have souls, that's shit play):

>>Subject: Monterey Toilet Service
>>From: "jbscat666"
>>Newsgroups: alt.personals.fetish.coprophagy
>>Dominant masters visiting the Monterey Peninsula are invited to stop by
>>and drop a load into this toilet pig's waiting mouth. Full service
>>provided front and rear and your total satisfaction is guaranteed.

>>Subject: Girls! Come shit into this slaves mouth!
>>From: "Tony"
>>Newsgroups: alt.personals.fetish.coprophagy
>>Hello. I am 20 years old, a man from michigan and in good health. I'm
>>drink free, drug free, and loking forward to the future. I am white
>>skinned and under 195 lbs, 6'0 tall.
>>I am submissive and looking for females who are into toilet play. I
>>want to be used as a toilet for your shit and your piss! spit on me,
>>vomit on me, wipe boogers on me, ear wax, snot, the stuff between your
>>toes, ANYTHING! I don't just want to be your slave and your toilet, I
>>want to be your septic tank. So dont piss on me, piss IN me.
>>I also like many other things like body worship, massage, human
>>furnature, cleaning house, yard work, cooking, and licking pussy.

I'm pretty sure if you go to the link in the next one you'll get the Gay.

>>Subject: scat pixs
>>From: tammy cd scat
>>Newsgroups: alt.personals.fetish.coprophagy
>>see photo album
>>26 folders about 10,500 pics mix of ameatur, fem to fem, fem solo,
>>smearing, male smear, male to male, fem to male, panty pooping
>>plus another 75 ablums of huge clits, dicks, cd/tg/ts/, bdsm, cum pics, pee
>>pics, small tits, cream pies, facials, anal, etc.
>>use my profile e-mail address.
>>enjoy tammy

Thankfully, this tale has a happy ending. It's only a spammer as evidenced by the next post:

>>Subject: Chicago Area Scat Lover
>>From: chicago scat
>>Newsgroups: alt.personals.fetish.coprophagy
>>I'm a 47 cross dressing that loves scat, panty pooping, smearing, being
>>shit and pissed on. I can host at my hotel till Late Novemeber. Check my
>>yahoo profile out for my scat photo albums
>> http://profiles.yahoo.com/cd_bi_tammy
>>Email me if you are interested in mutual scat play.

At least there are still a few noble men out there to bear the standard:

>>Subject: Re: Time for honesty - is the cure worse than the disease?
>>From: "Jeff Rainer"
>>Newsgroups: >>alt.fashion,alt.troll,alt.hackers.malicious,alt.2600,ne.weather,
>>"Joe Shit The Rag Man" wrote in message
>>> On 17 Oct 2006, "David RL G„rtner, RMT" posted
>>> some news:b4gbj2daf39nkl5hls2doosj4kv2l2q4i8@4ax.com:
>>>> On Wed, 18 Oct 2006 05:44:50 +0000 (UTC), Naughty Boy
>>>> spake thusly:
>>>>>"itsjoannotjoann" wrote in
>>>>>> I'm reporting them, too, and dropping them a nasty warning to cease
>>>>>> and desist. Gosh, I hope I'm not jinxing us, but I have noticed two
>>>>>> or three who were almost daily spammers seemed to have disappeared.
>>>>>> So I say keep up the good work David. If we don't do something this
>>>>>> group will become nothing but a board for scumbag spammers and their
>>>>>> retarded cousins known as trolls.
>>>>>Trolls and spammers are not related. You should be careful what you
>>>>>say as some trolls may take exception to those words. I suggest a
Happy Robert E. Lee and Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
Tag them deer.

Sunday, January 14, 2007

ok, as embarrassing as this is, this is a video of me being immolated (sorta) at tindle's belated birthday bash. notice i do nothing. that's because i was asleep at the time. damn it.
Dr. Way Cool found this little gem:

Saturday, January 13, 2007


In other news: Spatula, I have yet to recieve the much awaited information you promised me.

Friday, January 12, 2007

Hail Procyon Lotor!
Went and saw Rocky Balboa tonight.
The montage was a little short, but overall,
heart-warming and inspiring as only Rocky movies are.
Highly recommended. the score is a pleasant mix of
Italian musicians I have never heard of and 3-6 Mafia.

Now for the big question mark of the day:
There was a trailer for a movie about
werewolves. Of course, Evanescence was
playing in the trailer. The title of the film

"Blood and Chocolate".

How do these things come to pass?

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

This is astounding. If I ever meet a therapist worth a shit,
I'll pass their name along.

According to a random web quiz, I'm a 'Chav'.
I just don't see the fellow in the picture
drinking straight Evan's and listening to
David Allan Coe sing 'Ghost of Hank'.

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

For those who are not interested in a fine interview with Frank Kelly Rich, or one with Adam Parfrey, here's some fine historical notes
on the birth of our favorite 1,847 kilometers, squared.
In 1858 State Senator William A. Jones campaign platform included a promise to seek the formation of a new county for the area. His election was successful and helped push legislation for the formation of the new county.
The new county was to be formed from lands taken from Greene County, Poinsett County, and Mississippi County and would be named "Crowley County" in honor of Crowley's Ridge which runs through the center of the county.
Senator Thomas Craighead represented Mississippi County, and opposed the bill because the farmland it took from Mississippi County (commonly known as the Buffalo Island area) was a major source of property taxes for the county.
One day while Senator Craighead was away from the floor, Senator Jones amended the bill to change the county's name to "Craighead County". The Senate, thinking it was a compromise, approved the bill as amended; by the time Senator Craighead returned, the bill had already left the Senate, and he took no further action.
Craighead County was officially formed 19 February 1859; in gratitude, the citizens then named the main county seat Jonesboro, for Senator Jones. (Some sources say the name was actually proposed by Senator Craighead in a resolution.) Lake City, just across the St. Francis River from the Buffalo Island area, was added as a second county seat in 1883.
from Wiki...

Monday, January 08, 2007

For those that were curious, my e-mail address is colonel.burbon@gmail.com.

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

dudes. i am filled with nothing short of complete hatred. i'm not bitching though.

Saddam for realsies:

Monday, January 01, 2007

OK, so here's the thing J, we need some pictures of your dick. You see, what we have here (+) is quite possibly a gateway to a hell we've never known, a world of deviants only glimpsed at. The picture from the earlier post (obviously male genitalia, but was indiscernible beyond that); well, that was a picture of a man who split his penis in half but left the head intact so that he could fold it inward, inverting the flesh. Videos from the sister site used to show up sometimes on bangedup; the one I best remember is where a man climaxed by forcing his penis against a long-spined cactus (the type in little plastic pots you can buy from Home Depot). I have no idea what the amputation section itself holds, but I've seen a wood chisel snap through a finger on multiple occasions. So, yes. Do it for Amerika!

Oh, yeah... and I heard that Ann Coulter once orally pleasured Kid Rock's midget. So, I guess maggots give you the dyke.
'06 has finally been laid to rest.
I for one will not mourn it's passing. Hope
all you crackers had a festive evening last
night. Being as how I am at home and not
in a jail cell I feel pretty confident that
this year should be a good one. Cheers.